Whenever people have told me about prim boobs, I’ve always disqualified them as mythology… like Santa, or the tooth fairy. Falklore designed for discussion and campfire debate… nothing more.

But ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, nekos and furries, robots and toons…. PRIM BOOBIES DO EXIST.

I have proof [insert suspense driving music and maybe even a drumroll].

Erm….

What the f**k are they? The freakin’ Godzillas of the breast world? Do you girls really even need those? You have like all the breast control in the world from you appearance panel, don’t you?

Bet those don’t look good on the Emerald bouncy viewer…

I was in a store today when a pixel child IMed me and informed me that she has no Daddy.

I ignored her.

She then IMed me again asking if I would be her Daddy.

I ignored her.

Her ‘Mother’ then IMed me telling me she thought I would make a great parent.

WTF IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Aside from the fact that there is every chance that this ‘child’ is actually a fifty year old bloke, can you imagine that in RL? Someone just walking up to someone in a store asking them to be a parent to their child? Ok,ok… so there are some f**ked up situations where single Mothers jump from one relationship to another in like 30 seconds and the kids end up calling seventeen different men ‘Dad’ in a year. But does anyone really ask people to parent their children?

Probably not. At least not the normal ones, right?

Guess what? More bullshit press

The Daily Mail is reporting today upon the fact that a couple in Korea, who were convicted of allowing their three month old child to starve to death, were avid gamers raising a pixel baby in an apparently ‘Second Life type’ platform called PRIUS.

The Daily Mail Article of course places more emphasis on the fact that they were gaming addicts than anything else… of course there are no mention of all the children suffering at the hands of heroin addicts, or alcoholics.

Anyway… the fact these people even had a virtual daughter should have instantly said “crack pots,” surely?? )

For those of us familiar with the online dating scene in Second Life, it can be a warm relief sometimes to head out and date in the physical world! A conversation that doesn’t rely on your mic not cutting out, fun that you can actually feel and the ability to date from beyond the confines of the four walls of your house!!

SL dating is great… but despite its incredible array of beautiful dating locations, as those who meet in SL and then meet in RL will vouch, the physical connection is invaluable.

But anyhow…just for fun, ten lines that might work in Second Life, but certainly won’t work on your real life dates (particularly if your date has never played SL)!

1. Come here and hop on my balls, please. Not likely to get you a dance, very likely to get you a slap!
2. Your skirt isn’t fitting right. Shrink your ass? Again, you won’t be seeing underneath that skirt. More than likely seeing the back of her hand.
3. You’re totally grey to me. If she’s feeling age sensitive, you’re dumped.
4. You’re completely bald to me. Again, won’t go down well.
5. BRB – Need to eat. Yes, going ‘afk’ for ten mins to eat is not acceptable on a real life date!
6. Shit, wife is in the room! BRB. Don’t even try this one!!
7. I accidentally deleted your baby. Easy way to a long stretch in jail.
8. My dick isn’t working. Never do this…. especially not on a first date. Not unless you want to be celibate forever.
9. I was going to treat you to some genitals that are compatible with mine. Well done. Now you’re dateless and scheduled for sectioning.
10. There was a noob in my bed when I came in earlier. That will never work as an excuse, my friend. Never!

So for those of us stepping out to the world of face to face dating…. let’s leave the Second Life lines behind!!!

I downloaded the beta of Second Life’s viewer with a little bit of uncertainy. After all, at least half of the viewer upgrades I do result in something that pisses me off. I figured a massive jump from 1.whatever to 2 was bound to leave me frustrated with something.

Now there’s already a ton of posts out there about the shared media malarky and all that jazz. This one isn’t about that.Instead it’s more a summary of the stuff I like, and the stuff I don’t. I’m not expecting you all to care what I like and there is a good chance that after more usage, I might change my mind about the stuff I don’t like. But anyway…

I like…

• The fact the the CTRL P shortcut still brings the preferences box up because I sure as Hell wouldn’t have a chance of finding it otherwise.
• It didn’t break my graphics. When I first upgraded from 1.22 to 1.23, anything with particles turned into a blob reminiscent of something out of a bad horror movie. This is the point at which I started using Emerald.
• The in world dashboard access… fantastic!! This is so, so long overdue.
• The ability to just access exactly what you’re wearing now in it’s own panel rather than having to type “worn” into your inventory window whatsit. It’s just… convenient.
• The colour scheme. Yes, it’s plain. And it probably won’t change the world or bring about world peace. But I like it.
• The fact that avatar profile pics show up as thumbnails at the side of the person’s name in your buddy list. Again, it won’t change the world, but I like it.
• Teleport history for the current session is readily available.

I don’t like…

• The way that people’s profiles display. It’s just…. annoying.
• The chat bar being so much smaller. I don’t  know why, but it irritates me.
• The fact that I can’t find where to change my bloody voice on shortcut thingie. The previous viewer allowed me to access voice setting via preferences and from there I was able to set it so that mic was open whenever I held ctrl down (when not on hands free anyway). I cannot figure out for the life of me how to do this in viewer 2. I am going to do Linden Lab the justice of offering benefit of the doubt and assuming that this is just because I am having a retard moment. If anyone does know how to do this, your assistance would be appreciated.

What I am trying to do is to comment less on “how different it is,” because at this stage, as I am still getting used to it, that’s something I could probably complain all day about. But I do agree with what LL are saying – it is going to be far more ‘familiar’ feeling to newer residents. And I think that newer residents will also begin to feel as though it’s more familiar after a while too. It’s certainly a positive change.

I just have to get used to it…..

Can anyone solve my voice riddle?!

Mobile usage is accounting for more and more internet usage. I myself  ’surf on the move’ with my iPhone (I love my iPhone more than my dog)! One pet peeve though is the non mobile friendly pages. You spend way too long scroling back and forth and zooming in and out to get any enjoyment. However, I can’t very well bitch about the state of websites that don’t cater to the mobile market when mine doesn’t!

Until today!

I came across a pretty nifty plugin called WP Touch, which (in one click) makes your site iPhone and other mobile device friendly. There are a lot of plugins out there that do this, but most of them require you to do some element of designing of the “mobile theme” yourself and then arse around installing it in the relevant directories. This one is one click.

Essentially, when someone accesses Pixel Scoop now, it will detect whether they are on a mobile device and if they are, it will display the mobile version of the site. It’s less colourful, to say the least, and it’s a generic theme that they use for any site with the WP Touch plugin, but it’s much easier reading for mobile web browsers. Plus, if readers don’t like it, there’s an option to turn it off at the bottom!

Here’s how Pixel Scoop looks from a mobile:

Plain, indeed.... but so much easier!

No 'scroll, zoom, scroll, zoom,' required.

Clear image display...

And the option to turn off the mobile view for those who like scrolling and zooming!

If anyone else is interested in creating a clear, iPhone friendly version of their blogs, you can get the plugin from here. Sorry, non Wordpress-ers – this only works with Wordpress blogs!

PC Pro is a website I slated a while back…largely because they wrote a bullshit report with few facts and just basically declared Second Life to be a virtual world built on sex and otherwise empty spaces.

Anyhow, it seems Mark Kingdon (AKA M Linden) also decided to speak to PC Pro. You can read that interview here.

One or two points jumped out at me. Firstly, his comments on the adult grid:

“About 6% of the regions in Second Life are zoned ‘adult’ and we’ve looked at adult very extensively over the last year, through many different lenses… and we’ve found it a very average in terms of the prevalence of adult content.”

Now, it’s great that they’ve done all that and zoned it and whatever (actually, I’m not sure that’s great… it’s, well pointless) but there is still adult material on the mainland. Still. Still people having pixel sex on virtual beaches and whatever else. And, as with the “no traffic bots,” rule this is another case of bringing in a regulation for the benefit of most of the residents and then doing f**k all to enforce it.

The other thing that made me chuckle was Kingdon trying to refute claims that parts of Second Life are empty. He blamed it instead on “poor search tools,” and the fact that most places are on their own islands.

Erm… no Mark. It’s just that there are a alof of empty places. Open the map. Take a look!!

Anyway, regardless of that, I think it’s a great thing that Mark Kingdon has taken the time to speak to PC Pro following their article… at least it shows he gives a shit. Bravo on the proactive approach M! And while you’re being proactive, could you change your Linden name to something that’s searchable? One character names aren’t. No particular reason… it just annoys me a touch.

/me wanders off for some toast.

Wtf is Weopia?

Weopia is a virtual world that is specifically for dating. You don’t login and meet people in there. You don’t sift through the crowds and pick out your next victim date. Nope. This is a private virtual world set up for you to take someone you have met online elsewhere on a date.  Oh, and you pay per login for you and your date! $4.95 for two logins that last for that one date.

They’re making a pretty audacious claims….

Harvard researchers, huh?

I’m pretty sure they’re talking about the claims that these researchers made about improving online dating by adding a virtual world environment. However, the fact they imly that these researchers have said this about Weopia specifically is pretty audacious to say the least. And ‘works’ how exactly? The researchers specify that a virtual world makes online dating more realistic. They did not say “Paying Weopia will ensure you to get laid, reproduce, marry and live happily ever after.”

What do you get for your money?

Anyhow…. they do offer a free trial. So I tried it. What they claim you get is a romantic virtual world to yourself for just you and your partner. What you actually get is…

Patrick Swayze meets RoboBox!

….a very square looking avatar.

…a large expanse of deserted virtual land,

Ok, so my flying skills need some work!

…access to four different types of vehicles

4. Try to persuade someone to come to an empty virtual world to date me.

and ‘conversation starters.’ Though, if I ever resort to asking someone what their perfect day is as a conversation starter I am going to hang myself in self-punishment for the use of cliches like that!

So,worth it?

Well, conversation starter advice aside, there are actually some cool things about it.

The Good

Awesome graphics (well, sky, terrain and water at least…avatars not so much). On the login screen you’re asked to pick from the graphics level you want. I went with the second from highest option available and even though I wasn’t on the best graphical settings, I was still impressed with them.

Yay, flying in a straight line.

The graphics are more like those of Blue Mars than Second Life. However, another plus side is the performance. Despite excellent graphics, performance is great. This, however, is likely to be due to the fact that there’s nobody else on the grid!

Damn, where'd all the people go?

Another plus, I do believe, is the inclusion of voice, which is a bonus (in my opinion) in any virtual world. But that’s where, for me, the good ends.

The Bad

The whole concept. I took a free trial. The free trial, which I signed up to at weopia.com, involved entering my email address. Weopia then sent me a link for the download, some login credentials for that session and a link to send to my date. My date, however, crashed. And then I crashed (hmm, what was I saying about good performance?). And then my free trial login session had expired before I had even gotten chance to clap eyes on my squarish avatar date. Fail. Add to that the fact that there are few places to explore (though the ones that do exists are indeed pretty) and you can’t build etc and it’s really just a very pretty chat room. If I wanted to just date online and have a virtual world date with someone I had met in a chat room, for example, why would I not just invite them into Second Life and save the $4.95? Plus, in SL avies are much more customisable. And there’s animations )

Verdict

Pointless. Though pretty.

I hereby declare these commandments to be law. Ok, so I have f**k all power to enforce them. But Police Departments in world have bollock all power and people still seem to pay attention… so I am stamping my foot and demanding these be followed.

1. Thou shalt quit with the “No Drama Zone,” signs. It’s not funny. Everyone has them. And in my experience, those with the ‘no drama’ signs and profile messages tend to be the ones at the root of most of the drama. If you are the kind of person who had a need to stipulate that you don’t like drama, I’m thinking it must follow you around

2. Thou shalt not partner more than one person in a month. What is with people partnering like seventeen people a month. Really? I don’t get it. Is it a game? Is there a lotto I’m not aware of where the person who partners the most avies in Second Life gets something good? Please, enlighten me.

3. Thou shalt stop blinging. It gives me a headache and it stopped being cool 3 seconds after its creation.

4. Thou shalt stop wearing heels with the clicking sound. Girls, please! They never work. Lag. Lag stops everything like this from being as smooth as it should be. You stopped walking five minutes ago but your heels are still clicking. It makes me have to turn my sounds down.

5. Thou shalt quit with the spammy chain note cards. I get enough spam to my email, thanks. The note cards that are like the same as the emails… some random horror story and then “pass this to fifteen more avatars or else you’ll die a horrible death and your remains will be eaten by feral cats.’ Really? Bollocks to it. Trash. I will take my chance on the cats.

6. Thou shalt not play your freakin’ music over your microphone and through voice. It’s annoying. Really, really ennoying.

7. Thou shalt not beg me for Lindens. Seriously, if you are in such dire straits that you can’t afford to buy yourself a couple of dollars worth of Lindens, I suggest you log out and go find a job.

8. Thou shalt not leave your kids screaming in the background while you play on here. It makes everyone around you uncomfortable. Log out and feed them!

9. Thou shalt not create alts just to stalk people. It’s weird. And if you really feel the need to stalk people across the grid, you should probably question your sanity.

10. Thou shalt never, never, ever under any circumstances wear floaty text with your name on. WE HAVE NAME TAGS! I know your name because it’s on your tag. Why would you wear it again on floaty text above your head? You’re so good they named you twice. I don’t understand it…

Anyhow, rant over. I feel like ice cream.

I had to share this, it’s one of the best Second Life machinima productions I’ve seen for a while… stunningly well done.

This was produced by Spyvspy Aeon.