Policing Second Life™ – Pixel Protection!
Well, if ever I have encountered something to make me laugh, it’s pixel police. I was minding my own business today, mooching around a few stores, as you do, when someone started spamming the public chat channel. Yes, it’s annoying. The same shouting from the same avatar requesting that everyone within his 100m earshot does something along the lines of (how can I put this politely?) getting a bit jiggy with their own Mothers. Nice. Oh well, not the end of the world. He wasn’t the brightest bulb in the box and was simply just shouting from his own name. God bless ‘mute’. One moment to silence the little avatard and peace was mine again. No problem. Nobody died. No orphans starved. The world did not end. But it seems this shouting was hideous and heinous enough in its criminal nature to summon…wait for it…. a pixel cop! In he bounded in his virtual bullet proof vest (because obviously, without one, if someone shot him in game, he would surely die!) to make everything alright again.
“Breach of the peace, man.” he shouted. This was enough to make me unmute the spammer simply to enjoy watching the SL™ Superman himself attempt to save the day and protect our avatars from the highly dangerous public chat. It seems, however, that the spammer was very keen that someone should definitely have sex with a parent, as his requests persisted, filling up my screen. I didn’t mind. They were interrupted by the occasional “Stop that right now,” from Superman, whose patience was reaching its end. “Don’t make me shoot,” the cop continued. Now this, I had to see. And sure enough, he brandished his somewhat oversized machine gun (compensating for something maybe?) and started shooting. Unfortunately for him, his gun let him down (wonder how many times that’s happened to him) owing to a no script/no build in place on the parcel we were on! He soon teleported away. I remuted the spammer and normality ensued.
My question is this. Why? Why oh why do people find it so utterly necessary to make complete asses of themselves by bounding around with prim badges and freebie guns, hats that don’t fit them properly and “FBI” vests declaring to us mere virtual civilians that everything will be ok because they’re here to protect us? Ok, roleplay is one thing and in my looking through policing groups it seems there are some who specifically roleplay. Then there are others who seem to have some sort of delusional philosophy in place whereby they really do believe they’re saving the grid from… erm, well from bad stuff, I guess. One group claims, in its charter, that its purpose is to “protect sl and make our world a safer place.” Others offer a free uniform and training when you join. Oh goody. Because I’ve always wanted to spend my time being told how to look and act like a bit of a pillock by someone who has clearly already mastered the art. I think I will pass up on that one. Looking through profiles, some of the ‘police officers’ themselves offer virtual protection. Just IM them, apparently, and you become under their protection. Wow. As tempting as it is though, I think I can just about handle spamming of the public chat channel and the occasional avatar who, shock, horror, bumps into me! The bruises, I’ve discovered, go away pretty quickly. And failing that, a new copy of my skin should do it.
Perhaps these people think they’re the only ones with access to the “Abuse Report” function. Perhaps they believe that if they wear a virtual cop uniform, everyone will do exactly as they say. Maybe their uniforms are magic and that upon sight, all the griefing avies will disintegrate into nothing. Maybe they think that if Linden Labs™ sees all the good work they’re doing, running up and down the metaverse shouting at people and threatening to arrest them, they’ll get a job! Who knows! One thing I wonder though, how on Earth do these people think they can arrest someone. “Sir, you’re under arrest…. Oh damn. He teleported away.” Hmmm. Something to ponder.
Categories: Features
