Pixel Scoop

Chat up lines. They’re terrible at the best of times. Cliched, unimaginative and often followed by swift slaps, complete humilitation or worse.

Now for some reason, chat up lines in Second Life™, just when you thought it was not possible, are actually WORSE than in real life. My girlfriend is frequently hit on with some of the most appalling lines I have ever heard, including most recently ‘GIME SEX’. Well, at least it’s to the point, right? But surely if someone is going to attempt to woo their target with such ‘elegant’ lines, they could at least spell them correctly! And have a look at the latest in a long string of really appalling attempts! I am using her name with permission, but I will save his utter degradation by referring to him under a name I will just make up!

[2008/06/19 22:49] Mister Loveshimself: You know how they say skin is the largest organ? [2008/06/19 22:49] Jenee Marten: lol yes [2008/06/19 22:50] Mister Loveshimself: Not in my case

I attribute some of the most appalling lines used in game to the fact that people have lower inhibitions. This, for some, obviously equates to a total lack of self-respect as well. I often wonder what the real life consequences of some Second Life behaviour would be. I can’t imagine that a guy walking into a bar and going up to a girl saying ‘GIME SEX’ would be received very well. Although I suppose that depends on the bar as well! I see only three realistic outcomes:

1. The famous drink in the face. With one swift flick of the wrist, her drink is all over his face. His dignity is on the floor. His friends all point and laugh. Her friends look on at him in disgust. And then she charges him for her wasted drink.
2. The well-known slap in the face. A faster flick of the wrist this time, engaging the palm of the hand in some pretty solid contact with his face. As above, dignity is gone. His friends point and laugh. But worse than above, he has to try and pretend it does not hurt. Her handprint is emblazened on his face in a bright, glowing red and he smiles and laughs in the direction of his buddies, eyes watering, muttering something like, ‘Ha, she slaps like a girl.’ HINT: he will go home and look in a mirror later on, feeling terribly sorry for himself and inspecting the damage done.
3. She tells him bluntly, ‘You couldn’t afford me’. And then walks off hand in hand with the millionaire she is accompanying that night. Once again, dignity on the floor.

So I think it’s fair to say that in this case, certain Second Life behaviour probably would not transfer to real life so well. Anyone care to try? Let me know how that goes!