[WARNING - RANT FOLLOWS]

Ladies, Gentlemen, toons, nekos, furries, spampires, robots and whatever the fuck else is roaming around Second Life, if you’re not grown up enough to sort out your pixel problems without the help of a virtual attorney (whose real life qualifications probably fail to exceed ‘basic literacy’) then really, log off. Ctrl Q, trust me it works wonders.

What is with the number of lawyers springing up in Second Life? A quick sift through classifieds and place search and you’ll find dozens. And these people claim to help you settle disputes over ownership following a “Second Life break up,” as an example of a service. Umm… how exactly does that conversation go:

Attorney: That brings us to the $2500L sex carpet.

Him: That’s totally mine, completely mine. Hell, she got the animated shower and the script error-ing virtual labrador. The carpet is mine.

Her: No, you can’t have the carpet. I have a new partner now and I need the carpet!!!!!

Him: Absolutely not… hand it over NOW?!

Attorney: Ok, this is complicated. I am going to have to consult with the object properties. Excuse me. I won’t be a moment, I just need to right click this.

[INSERT AWKWARD SILENCE OF AROUND 20 SECONDS AND LOTS OF TENSION]

Attorney: The carpet is hers.

Him: What?!?! How could you decide that?! Ridiculous decision.

Attorney: I am afraid that in the eyes of the law, that carpet is hers. Largely because it’s no trans.

Seriously, people! Get a grip! And if you need help sorting out land issues or have been screwed over by a land baron (another service some of these ‘attorneys’ claim to assist with, go to Linden Lab! In fact, if you have a Premium Account you will probably get a response from LL faster than a virtual lawyer anyway!

I don’t get it. I really don’t. Is “Second Life Attorney,” bullshit for “Has freebie suit, needs Lindens?”

Anyhow…. rant over.

Tags: virtual attorney
Categories: Second Life

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 9th, 2010 at 8:50 pm and is filed under Second Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.