Pixel Scoop

Why is it that traffic stats are completely worthless??

Oh wait, I remember now.

'Attack of the Killer Balls of Light' was never going to be a big hit.

This was taken on the sim ‘Still Life’ over an 8768sqm parcel that is home to Sleek Modern Furniture. Interesting this was one of many bot decks. 70 people on the sim, all crammed onto that single parcel and I didn’t find anyone who was at their keyboard to talk to me. And interestingly, a trait common to avatars logged in with a certain freely available bot program, none of them loaded into anything more than a big ball of light. Imagine that. But of course, they don’t count as bots if they’re 4000m in the air on a no fly parcel. Didn’t you know that:

And that is why a traffic figure of 118000 means, well, absolute bollocks.

In real life I walk around with a torch on a stick strapped to my head every single day. Do I really? NO. Do I bollocks! So why the Hell would I choose to walk around with a frikkin light shining on my face in Second Life™? I see only three possible purposes of face lights in game:-

1. To give the impression that your face is the sun because you’re special like that.
2. To blind everyone within a three mile radius.
3. To piss people off.

There’s just no need. If you are so vain that you really want to be able to see your face clearly, change your lighting settings. Don’t force your face on everyone you walk past!! Besides, it shows your skin flaws up And those pixel bags under your eyes…. they look like pixel frikkin suitcases when you have face lights on. Nobody really wants to see your face glowing up like something out of a nuclear accident.

But seriously…. why?? I know a lot of people say that a subtle one can look ok, but I haven’t yet noticed any ’subtle’ ones, which begs the question, if they’re so subtle that you can’t see them, why waste an attachment point on one?

Well, I bloody hope so as they’ve had mine for long enough. However, if this story is anything to go off, it seems there is room for debate!

Apparently it seems that, not once, but TWICE Linden Labs have billed an employee of Reuters, Evan Maloney, the yearly $500 fee for the Reuters surname. Now ok, once… well we all make mistakes. However, after this happened the first time, Maloney was assured his credit card information had been completely erased from their databases. That, it seems, was a blatant lie, as he was billed the $500 again recently for the second time. What’s more frightening is that his credit card information was never entered to be billed, simply to verify his identity and allow him access to the forums. Yet for some reason, even though he isn’t the ‘owner’ of that surname, he has now been billed a total of $1000 wrongly.

Ok, so I am sure LL will clean the problem up etc etc. But it’s hardly the point is it? And seriously, of all the people to fuck over, a news agency (one that recently ceased most operations in game too) probably isn’t the wisest idea unless you’re looking for a quick route to some bad publicity.

Personally, I have never had billing problems with them. But if I was explicitly told that my credit card details had been completely erased and then I was wrongly billed for something, I would be making a quick call to my legal advisor….

Pixel Scoop Issue 3 is out TODAY! Have a sneak peek at this month’s Pixel Rhyme.

Twas the night before Christmas and all the round the grid,
Were sickeningly happy, excited av kids!
The Vampires were hunting the newbies in force,
Their overpriced HUDs decked in Holly, of course!

The griefers on sandboxes thought they were King,
The gangstas had Christmas trees all decked in bling,
The Nekos wore antlers in place of their ears,
And I just soaked up all this rare festive cheer.

All was relaxing on this Christmas Eve,
A little too simple, quite hard to believe!
The spirits were high and the lag stats were low,
But, all of a sudden… well whaddya know?

Nobody hid their incredible shock,
At the sight of the big, ugly dialog box.
It said, “Look here guys, we know it’s a pity,
But the grid’s going down cos our network is shitty.”

And one at a time the people logged out,
The grid would be down now for hours no doubt.
The status page said that the update would come,
But the wait was just too much to handle for some,

The spirit was dampened, the grid remained closed,
Some people vented while others just dosed.
So much disappointment, some impatient rage…
And at last came an update on that status page.

It said, “Hey folks, we’re sorry our service is shit.
The network is crumbling, the server’s in bits!
But try to be patient, have some festive cheer!
Cos when Christmas is over we’re raising your tier!

All this and much, much more in this month’s festive issue!

Pixel Scoop Issue 3!

You can pick up your free copy in world at the Pixel Scoop Office or from XStreetSL!

If Linden Labs had a religion, that would be the opening to its Holy Book. Nothing is working again. The bloody timely fashion errors are haunting. But of course nothing it noted on the status page. The only thing the staus page is concerned with is something about payments not working…. of course when it’s payments that aren’t working, Linden Labs ensures there is a workaround. Allow me to quote from the bad news page:-

“Our payment processor is currently experiencing technical difficulties which may result in related transaction failures for some residents. Please consider using PayPal as an option in the meantime.”

See when anything else fails, like the asshole server or the network, the simple answer is, ‘Don’t rezz, don’t make transactions, don’t move, don’t breathe, don’t teleport. In fact don’t even login.’ And then you’re expected to wait patiently until someone finishes their lunch and can be assed making up an excuse for the problem.

However, when payments are down there’s an answer…. PAYPAL! See this way Linden Labs can still line their pockets! Wonderful how it works isn’t it.

I am going to suggest a new approach to the error messages for Sundays. I suggest that anyone attempting to rezz, move, teleport or buy something should be greeted with the following:-

“WHOAH WHOAH WHOAH! Wtf do you think you’re doing, asshole. This is Sunday you fucktard. You can’t move on Sundays. How dare you even login. Go to Hell. By the way, your premium fee is due. Regard, LL.”

Anyway, Happy Sunday!

“Welcome to my store, I hope you have a wonderful time trying to get out from underneath the God damn prim you landed under. I hope your camera isn’t going all haywire as you try and cam around to find some means of escape and I hope you don’t swear and curse at your screen lots as you realise that you probably will just have to teleport away. So why is it I don’t make any sales again?”

Ok, so that isn’t actually a greeting I have encountered. But it’s a greeting that I swear some stores need to use. People, people…. PLEASE double check your landing points. There is nothing worse than being teleported to a place and finding yourself stuck. Ok well maybe there are worse things…. like starving people etc, but you get my gist.

It would be the equivalent of going to a store in real life and as soon as you walk through the door, a big burly security guard bundles you to the floor, punches you in the face a few times and pins you down under a few big rocks and things. Then he says, ‘Ok, you can shop if you can get out from under there.’ Once again, maybe it isn’t quite like that, but whatever.

It makes me laugh, however, when people complain that they NEVER make sales and then you go over to their store and the landing point is underground somewhere miles from the store entrance. Apparently the basics of making sales from a store starts with having a store people can access. I hear that helps… rumour has it!

Anyway, I just felt like a whinge and bitch for a change.

This is, with possibly the only exception being the Dolcett stuff, the weirdest thing I have come across in game.

Jenee and I were just exploring when we came across this place, called the Mercy General Hospital. The land description claimed it is intended for ‘medical fetishists and roleplayers’. We thought it a little odd but went inside and had a look anyway. And wow, well ‘odd’ is an understatement.

The hospital was actually rather elaborate in its layout with a morgue in the basement, maternity section, cardio-whatsit and plenty of equipment. Ok, fine, a hospital. That’s not too out of the ordinary. The 2 day old avatar pretending to be a doctor, however, was a little, ummm, different. Allow me to share the following log (though I will do these people the courtesy of a name change! I will, however, leave the spelling errors in! I will also show you the position these avies were in throughout this with a little picture!

They really let someone illiterate graduate medical school?

[9:47] Doctor Newbie: ok i, back
[9:47] Patient: yes dr
[9:47] Doctor Newbie: i will start with a breast exam
[9:48] Doctor Newbie: ok have you had breast cancer
[9:48] Patient: no doctor
[9:48] Doctor Newbie: ok next is an abdomanl exam
[9:48] Patient: yes
[9:49] Doctor Newbie: ok when was your last period
[9:49] Patient: 2 weeks ago doctor
[9:50] Doctor Newbie: ok was it light?
[9:50] Patient: yes doctor
[9:51] Doctor Newbie: ok your uteris is larger then normal i will need to run more test then a normal check up
[9:51] Patient: yes ok doctor
[9:51] Doctor Newbie: but now i need to do a pelvix exam
[9:51] Patient: yes doctor
[9:51] Doctor Newbie: OOhh
[9:52] Doctor Newbie: your cervix is contracted
[9:52] Patient: oh
[9:53] Doctor Newbie: i’m going to but a bladder cather in for a urine sample
[9:53] Patient: yes doctor
[9:53] Doctor Newbie: ok
[9:53] Doctor Newbie: your pregnate
[9:54] Doctor Newbie: yes im sorry you have a few plans you can use
[9:55] Doctor Newbie: would you like to hear them
[9:55] Patient: yes plz doctor
[9:55] Doctor Newbie: 1 you can keep the baby
[9:56] Doctor Newbie: 2but it up for adoption
[AT THIS POINT THE GIRL STOOD UP AND TELEPORTED OUT]
[9:56] Doctor Newbie: 3 aportion

Well, I can only assume that she didn’t like her diagnosis or her options, as she didn’t hang around to hear the last one. Either that or she needed some time alone after finding out that she had a contracted cervix and an oversized ‘uteris’. Then again she might just be somewhat concerned that someone has removed her uterus and replaced it with a ‘uteris’ in the first place. I would also like to know the meaning of the adjective ‘pregnate’ and what the Hell an ‘aportion’ is. Can you imagine actual doctors giving people medical notes like that.

Anyway, following her departure the guy was somewhat keen to check whether Jenee had any medical problems, funnily enough not something she was keen to discuss with him!

We decided to explore and have a little try at some of the medical equipment ourselves!

Do you come here often?

It's a bit chilly in here!

It was just a really odd place. They had a list of staff available with their online status in case you needed medical help. I mean really…. what on Earth would people get out of this? How is an oversized uterus sexy? Maybe I’m missing something here? Anyway, aside from the oddball nature of the place, I did bag myself some freebie souvenirs…

Supplies!!

Now, I don’t know about you lot, but they don’t hand the equipment out at my local hospital. I feel shortchanged!

If you have a bizarre medical fetish, get turned on by morgues or heart attacks or whatever…or you just want to watch Doctor Newbie in action, you can find this hospital here.

I have blogged on my irritation with group inviters before, especially those with short term memory loss that invite fifteen thousand times in the space of a three minute visit to some random shitty location whose description just happens to contain a keyword you searched. But what irritates me more is when you visit a place and then the owner sends you an invitation afterwards manually. No IM, no contact at all, just a group invitation.

Erm… so there are hundreds of thousands of places across the grid. I teleport to  maybe 20 or 30 different places a day. I have 25 group spaces and no patience for spam. Do you still think I want a group invite from every single place I visit? I went to a place yesterday and there was a MASSIVE sign at the landing point saying ‘Click here to join our group’. I did not click it. I DID see it but I chose not to click it. I obviously didn’t realise that I was in a click dictatorship and failure to click on the aforementioned sign would result in me being chased up by some over enthusiastic owner desperate for another avatar on his group list. Needless to say I declined both his group invitation and his note card. I would like to take this opportunity to inform Second Life™ location owners who do this that I CAN read. I’m not actually as stupid as I look and I really can make an informed decision for myself. I am deemed of sound mind and feel capable of deciding for myself whether to click the group sign. If I don’t click your sign it’s because I don’t want to. It isn’t because I forgot or that I’m indecicive. In not clicking your sign, I am not playing hard to to get, I don’t want you to chase me or serenade me with spam. It really is not necessary.

And what is with sending everyone on your visitor list notecards about sales for all eternity? It actually pisses me off to receive things from people whose location I might have visited once six months ago and now my avatar name is on their stalker database. I was once sent a landmark from someone for the place of theirs I had been to the month prior because I hadn’t been back!! If I didn’t go back there was probably a reason!!! Again, it isn’t me playing hard to get!

But anyway, rant over. Second Life spamming gets my goat…. in case you hadn’t noticed.

Ok, so I was particularly glad to see the back of the Popular Places list. It was a joke. They might as well just have called it, “Top 20 Bot Farms.” But the Showcase, that is intended as a means to replace popular places is actually a joke as well.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that every single place listed in the Showcase is a steaming pile of dog crap. Not at all. I have been to several that I quite like. However, there’s so many in there that are no different to any number of locations you might just happen to teleport into. For me, Showcase should be exactly that; a showcase of the best places to go in Second Life™. It should take into account how original and different they are, how much of it is commercial etc.

But what we actually have is a setup whereby people can submit their own locations to appear in the showcase, or have others submit them. And then a team of Lindens (I assume) sit down and decide which to include. Now this is hardly fair. How is a relatively small team of employees qualified to decide what the rest of Second Life wants to see? Aside from this, the submission form isn’t particularly simple and you are limited to 2 submissions per month and while I can appreciate that this has to be the case to prevent it from being abused, the setup just seems a little unfair. It’s hardly democratic to have two or three people sit down and decide what goes in and what doesn’t. This is particularly so as those who happen to know the sister of the cousin of the child avatar who is the nephew of the friend of the brother of the third cousin twice removed of SuchandSuchaBody Linden will undoubtedly have a good word put in on their behalf and find themselves sitting pretty in the showcase fairly quickly. Ok, maybe I’m a cynic!

But anyway, it’s all just a bit of a joke. If I’m ever looking for somewhere original to go, I tend to get my ass onto Google. “The most beautiful places in Second Life,” “The most romantic places in Second Life,” “Second Life hotspots,” etc all seem to pull up a number of blogs that I have found to be a more reliable source of finding the best places in Second Life.

Rant over.

If at first you don’t succeed….. try and…. well actually, sod that, just close down. At least that’s what you could be led to believe is the philosophy of the Google’s Lively team!

The Google blog tells us:-

“In July we launched Lively in Google Labs because we wanted users to be able to interact with their friends and express themselves online in new ways. Google has always been supportive of this kind of experimentation because we believe it’s the best way to create groundbreaking products that make a difference to people’s lives. But we’ve also always accepted that when you take these kinds of risks not every bet is going to pay off.

That’s why, despite all the virtual high fives and creative rooms everyone has enjoyed in the last four and a half months, we’ve decided to shut Lively down at the end of the year. It has been a tough decision, but we want to ensure that we prioritize our resources and focus more on our core search, ads and apps business. Lively.com will be discontinued at the end of December, and everyone who has worked on the project will then move on to other teams.

We’d encourage all Lively users to capture your hard work by taking videos and screenshots of your rooms.”

And the Lively site’s official announcement reports:-

“Lively no more

After careful consideration, we have decided to shut down Lively.

Since Lively’s launch, we have been delighted to see the creative ways you’ve used the product. We enjoyed hanging out in Jen’s coffee house, and checking out the Brasil Party room. We got a kick out of the YouTube videos in a variety of languages telling stories about your avatars. And we’ve been awed by the elaborate rooms that you’ve constructed, using mosaic tiles and photo gadgets in novel ways.

We will shut down Lively on December 31, 2008. Embedded rooms in blogs and other web pages will continue to show an image, but users will no longer be able to enter Lively rooms and interact.

Between now and the end of the year we encourage you to capture all your hard work by taking videos and screenshots of your rooms. Thank you for sharing this experience with us. We’ve learned a lot about how users interact in rich social environments, and we hope you’ve enjoyed your time with Lively.”

What strikes me is a real lack of information. What did they base this shutdown on? Will there be any plans to reinstate something new? What exactly are the other things the team will be working on. This massive lack of information in thier, ‘Oh well, we’re off, see you later, it was fun’ style post tells me, quite simply, that they just realised they cannot compete in this particular area.

Well… so much for the big new Google competitor for Second Life™. It seems they finally realised it was shit, then?

Another one bites the dust. Tea anyone?