How to be ‘Gangsta’ in Second Life™ (without spending a Linden)!
Now, we all know how admirable, respected and generally amazing ‘gangsta’ avies are. It really does take a certain amount of confidence (or delusion) to wander around the metaverse dressed like something out of a really bad rap video. And because, of course, we all so badly want to be just like these people, I headed off to gangsta venues to study this species of avatar! With my new found knowledge and understanding of these ‘gangstaz’ and ‘sistahz’ I was then successfully able to recreate their look and attitude without spending a single Linden! Here, I share the joy!
The Look
Through studying and observation, I was able to identify 5 key requirements for men.
1. BLING. Unless you are wearing enough freebie bling to cause long term vision problems for anyone within a 15 mile radius, you simply won’t fit in. Bling can take the form of anything really. Watches (because of course looking at the clock built into the SL™ viewer is evidently just not gangsta), knuckle dusters, belts… but the preferred bling seems to be giant gold or silver necklaces with $ signs on them. Wow. The epitome of all that is manly, tough and just plain cool. I was going to ask if, being from the UK, I ought to find one with a £ sign on. But decided against communicating with this unpredictable species. Other admired accessories took the form of belts with ‘playa’ or something similar written across them.
2. DUFFEL BAG. Most male avies will be aware, I’m sure, that within the appearance editing options, hidden amongst the love handles and flat butt sliders, is an option to adjust your package! The scale on the sliders goes up from the aptly named ‘coin purse’ right the way up to a ‘duffel bag’. Well, you want to be gangsta, you need the duffel bag. It appears that unless you look as though you’re carrying around at least ten tonnes of pure man meat within your underwear, you’re just not gangsta enough.
3. FACE COVERAGE. A bandana or doo-rag and something tied around your mouth is of course a complete necessity. One has to be unidentifiable in the police line ups of course. So you really need to make it look as though you’re either just returning from a bank robbery or just about to go out and pop a cap in someone’s ass. (Sorry, that should be ‘azz’. My spelling is terrible.)
4. PYJAMA PANTS. It is absolutely necessary that any pants you wear in public must resemble PJs (overly baggy, crotch hanging to the floor). This is just a rule. Apparently, we do not question why.
5. OVERSIZED SHOES. If your footwear is not a similar size to a canoe, then you are clearly just not gangsta. Normal sized shoes? What are you? A little bitch? Get real mo’ fo’. If you can’t fit 3 grown men into each shoe, then you’re gonna end up with a cap in your ass. Apparently.
The rules for female avies were much simpler. Very few clothes, LOTS of bling and a backside that is 100 on the butt slider. Yes, if your butt doesn’t resemble 2 small planets in a pair of pants, you’re no ‘sistah’.
So, with the clothes all taken care of, an AO that makes you walk like John Wayne desperate for the toilet and a certain amount of insanity to make you believe this looks good, you’re almost gangsta. Of course, before you can even think of using the sacred term for yourself, you’ll have to acquire a weapon (in case it should become necessary at any point to pop a cap in some bitch’s ass). Again, as with all the clothing, it can all be acquired FREE! WOOT!
The Lingo
Even if you look right, I can’t help but think that you’d be sussed out right away if you went into a gangsta club and spoke, well, properly. There is the entire abuse of the English language thing going on and if you’re going to be able to pull of gangsta, you’re going to need to learn it. A few key rules:
1. All words ending in –er now in –a. E.g ‘gangsta,’ ‘motha,’ ‘brotha.’ –ER is the enemy.
2. Equally as discriminated against seems to be the letter S. Ass appears to be spelt ‘azz,’ and plurals all end in –Z too it seems.
3. A number of ‘th’ words alter their spelling in gangsta. The = da, them = dem, that = dat.
4. The verb ‘to be’ in the present tense exists only in the third person singular form – ‘is’. I is, you is, we is, they is….
In addition to the basic rules outlined above, as with any language, there are a number of words that follow no rules! Examples include:
-Girl = gurl
-Boy = boi
-Sister – sistah
-Bitch – bytch
In translating from English to Gangsta it is important to remember the key points. Example translations:
“Well hello there. That’s a lovely necklace you’re wearing,” becomes “Sup bitch. Dat bling is da shit.”
“That boy over there really did annoy me. I’m going to have to resolve this!” becomes “Dat boi der, ima pop a cap in his azz.”
“They are such cowards,” becomes “Dey is bytchez.”
And so there you have it. How to be gangsta without spending a linden. Want to replicate this look? No, I thought not. Good choice. But just in case you find yourself incredibly intoxicated one night or want to attend a ‘gangsta’ night, all clothing and accessories I found came from Freebie Store http://slurl.com/secondlife/Chromex/208/182/24
Thanks to Jenee Marten for the photography, as a result of which she is now mentally scarred for life.