Ok, so in theme with my loving James Cameron’s ‘Avatar’ right now, I went off hunting something similar to a Na’vi avatar. Yes, I wanted to be pretty, blue and almost naked. Just like the Smurfs…

There are a few around already, something that comes of little surprise. But by far the best ones I found were at ‘Tribal Designs’. They have male and female blue elf avatars (a couple of each) as well as separate shapes and a number of separately available accessories too. The designer is Syndel Daviau and she has done an amazing job of these. The L$1700 package comes with a choice of 2 skins, a shape, the sculpted ears, tail, the hair plait thingie (whatever its technical name is) and the eyes – with the one I bought at least. And the shape is modifiable too… so you can make yourself look a little different.

Check me all blue and barely dressed….

It was a further couple of hundred lindens for my loin cloth (yes, yes, I know there is really no excuse for wearing a loin cloth in public) and necklacey thing. But I think I look cool. Actually, the clothing sold in Tribal Designs is by Ripped (designer Beautifully Sinister) Ok, so just freakin’ humour me will you. I love the film and I love these avies. Awesome job on them!

If you want your own, they are available on XStreetSL or through the Tribal Designs Store. Visit in world here: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Milo/227/228/23

There are some pretty impressive builds in Second Life.

None more so than the Dream Scene collection by Kayle Matzerath of Garden of Dreams. The Dream Scene collection is one of the rezzable/changeable skybox type products available in world, whereby a different building/scene/skybox rezzes from a central rezzer in the sky and more different scenes can be added. There are a couple of differences with this one, however. Firstly, it isn’t as pricey as many of the high end ones out there. Secondly, I am not sure I have seen one with scenes of such amazing quality. I’ll let the pictures do the talking:-

Dream Scene - Tibetan Temple

Tibetan Temple

The Jungle Bar

Dream Scene: Moonshine

Moonshine - Went down well my other half!!

Every scene has a cuddle menu installed in it somewhere. And what’s awesome is the simplicity of setting them up. If you have one Dream Scene, you rezz the ‘bubble,’ sit on it, select a height and it takes you up there and rezzes it around you. If you have multiple, you get a selection of which scene you want before being whisked up and having it rezzed around you. It’s really, really simple to add new scenes to your existing bubbles (prices from L$1600 – L$2000 per unit from what I can gather). When you buy a new scene, there is an item in the package called “installer” and you just rezz it next to your existing bubbles and click on it. It really is that simple.

As things are, I have the Tibetan Temple, Moonshine and The Jungle Bar. The Jungle Bar was free in the Garden of Dreams store when I picked it up! I will be collecting more.

For the record, I have never even had a single conversation with the creator. I am not engaged in any form of affiliate scheme, nor am I being bribed with sexual favours, Lindens or lurve! I just think this is freakin’ awesome!

You can get them from the store by clicking here or from XStreet by clicking here. They’re cheaper in world!

Silence in Second Life!!!!

I posted last week about the self-appointed voice police, who leave voice on and then bitch because they can hear people speaking.

Well now we have those who don’t want people typing either. No, I am not joking.

Check out the ‘Silence Monitor,’ a L$290 product by ProductPM.com (PM Sands in world) that basically polices your venue so people DO NOT TYPE in open chat!!

The note explains that you rezz the sign and then anybody (INCLUDING YOURSELF) who types in open chat will be ejected from the location.

WTF???

L$ 290 to turn your venue into a fucking military school? Now the fact you would have a sign up in the first place suggests a public place. Public place…. socialising? Do they not work well together?

It seems that I have been a little mistaken about Second Life. You know, for some odd reason, I thought that communication was a big part of that.

Evidently not.

Silence monitor?? A fancy name for the Gestapo?

Second Life™ permits us the ability to fly, teleport, look however we like, even change our species.

So the platform is certainly known for its ability to let you do the things you might love to do in real life, but simply cannot. One other such activity is the opportunity to dance on the grave of George W. Bush. I kid you not.

This is the Pirate’s Rest Cemetery in SL Belize where anyone can submit suggestions for the burial of ‘pirates’. Said pirates might be well known, like George W. Bush and his graveside neighbour Bernard Madoff, or they might be your ex, your next door neighbours… anything goes. Of course, owner of said cemetery, Kohrabi Wittels, reserves the right not to accept your submission. But if it is accepted, you will be able to dance on the grave of someone who evidently pissed you off enough to make you want to. Yes, there is a dance ball in the grave yard to enable you to practice your finest moves over the virtual grave of any random asshole ‘buried’ there. And clicking on any of the graves gets you a note card with the info as to why someone wanted to dance on this person’s pixel grave in Second Life in the first place. Completey random. Completely cool.

Only in Second Life…..

You can visit the Pirate’s Rest by clicking here.

Yes, giving your pixel partner (or ex-partner) a good kick in the pixel goolies has long been a possibility with thanks to the Second Life animators.

But it just got a whole lot more deceptive. What’s the one thing worse than a kick in the balls? That would be a kick in the balls when you least expect it. Right? And one thing even worse than that, is a kick in the balls when what you are actually expecting is a great big hug and a chance to squeeze yourself up against her boobs. Shit, did I just say that out loud?? Inside voice, Josue, inside voice.

Anyway, I came across this product on XStreet (created by Verne Miles) that allows the ladies to do just that… to lull the blokes into a false sense of security before launching into a pretty mean and nasty kick in the nads! Ouch. Well technically, a knee in the nads. But whatever.

Click here to get one for yourself!

I let my Skylar try this out on me. No, I don’t get off on being kicked in the balls, I don’t have an odd fetish for it in any way… I just wanted to see how it worked. And, well… it’s pretty darn funny as it happens.

We’ll let the pictures do the talking.

You want a hug?? Awww, come here, babe!

Whoah!!! You're.... you're.... mean!

Sorry for what? I told you, I don't even know who she is!

Whoah, ok ok. I'm really sorry!

Yes, baby. Absolutely.

Anyway… I just thought I would share that. See, only here do we facilitate virtual testicular injury.

Yes, you read it right!

Spunky Sperm!

Sally Sperm

WARNING: SHAMELESS PLUG

Ok, so yes I have a reason to plug these avie, since they are made by the delightful Jenee Marten! BUT… they really are very funny. His and hers miniature sperm avatars, which really are probably the smallest avies I’ve ever seen in game. I named them myself (Sally and Spunky) and I even wrote a little rhyme for her to use on her XStreet descriptions. So in the very least you have to go look at that JUST to look at my rhyme. And then you have to pretend it entertained you, pixel pat me on the back etc. Come on, play along!

But anyway, they’re hilarious and perfect for grabbing attention. The whole concept of a female sperm makes me laugh…a lot.

Oh and they’re transferrable. So now you can give someone the gift of sperm! Only in Second Life™….

You can pick up Spunky Sperm from here.

You can get Sally Sperm from here!

Ok, I saw this on the Miscellaneous Fun section of XStreetSL and had to get myself a copy! These are primmed trophy girls!

Creator, Duggy Bing, says in his item description, “Make an ENTRANCE with your own Arm Candy! Heads will turn as you enter a club or party squiring these hot babes. You “wear” them, so they’re sure to stay close (and leave the party with only you!). Eyes move and blink, as one seductively caresses your chest. Bling flashes on their hawt outfits. Perfect for casual fun, self-delusions of desirability, or cheering up a recently dumped pal.”

Aah, a new competitor to the escort industry?? Hehe!

Of course, as my image clearly displays, the only thing you have to watch for is the real avies getting jealous of your new hot…umm…. prims. We don’t want any cat fights now, right?

Ok, so I don’t product review on here often but this is hilarious! Click here to find these hot pieces of prim for yourself!

Ok, so I came across a zombie that is just completely cool. I have seen it on XstreetSL a few times but only bothered my ass to actually get it today!

And I’m glad I did! This is one of the best freebies I’ve seen in game. It’s zombie avatar complete with AO that animates you into a one armed weirdo and also makes you walk all zombie-like too. Have some pictures!

Funnily enough, this bears an uncanny resemblance to an ex of mine

Dressed to Impress!

I love this thing! The walk is so funny and it’s really well put together.

And ok, ok, evil comments about who it looks like aside… it actually looks like me the morning after a heavy night. I wonder if it smells as bad!!

This is created by Katana Woolley and sold on XstreetSL by Exosius Woolley and you can find it here!

Ok, first of all I apologise for my appallingly predictable play on words there. I know, I know, I deserveto be hung alive for that. But you’ll get over it.

I don’t review often. And when I do it is for one of the following reasons:-
A. It is a bad review which gives me the opportunity to be completely hurtful at someone’s expense. Always fun. I’m a sick and pathetic little man, I know. So shoot me.
B. The product/place is funny, original and completely different.
C. I have a vested interest (at least I’m honest about it).

This time it is B. With a hint of C. A little hint. Let me clarify.

Screwball Cartoon Avatars is a region that my better half just opened, completely cartoon themed! Let me use pictures to illustrate! (Nifty, eh? The wonders of Windlight)!

Pictures do a far better job than my ramblings of showing you what it’s all about! What they don’t show is the hidden things, such as ‘Little Willy’s Porn Emporium’ (yes, you read it right). As well as the loveable and familiar cartoon attractions, there’s so many hidden little places with a real witty twist.

Yes, of course I like anything my partner does. But I felt the need to review this, rather than just pat her on the back and say ‘nice job,’ as it really is a remarkably well done job and very original in terms of what is already around in Second Life™.

Go check it out! You will find the region here.

No, I’m not declaring to the world that I’ve got a maggot in my trousers! I wanted to show you what is, in my humble opinion, the wittiest avatar in the history of avatars.

Ok, ok, so I am probably a little biassed, this being made by my better half and all that good stuff, but seriously, what could NOT be funny about a miniature cock avatar that runs around using its balls as feet??!! I have been called a ‘complete dick’ before, so if people are going to say it, I may as well be it!

And when I say miniature it really is. This is 40cm tall which basically makes me absolutely teeeeny! I do get some bizarre looks when I’m off out in this thing. Some people think I am grossly crude and tactless (fairly accurate summary of my character, I guess). Others think it is hilarious. As with anything, it depends on the people you meet. I choose not to keep company with prudes so this suits me perfectly well!

Perhaps the best thing about this avie is the fact that there are two hilarious commands! /pee, typed in open chat will make you pee! /cum is the other one and there are no prizes for guessing what that does!!!

Should you wish to be a complete dick, you can find this avatar here.