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Dating in SL is nothing new. Second Life relationships are almost as common in world as prims. Well. Ok, I’m going overboard. Anyway… while dating in a virtual world is probably those of you who never have will never, ever understand, it has its quirks. Perhaps, over the last few months, I’ve taken a cynical view to the whole online dating thing  but when I’m looking at it with a more level head, there are even things from the Second Life dating scene that I would totally, totally take to the RL dating scene.

The Moves!

I can actually get away with Latin dancing in RL. With an Argentine Mother who insisted I would take dancing lessons (and learn to ‘dance like a real gentleman’) I can pretty much pull it off. But club dancing? Well, you know you walk into a club and there’s always one dickhead dancing like a moron, incredibly out of time with the moves but obviously doesn’t give a shit. Yes, that’s me. Stop and say hi next time. And since dates can often end in bars and clubs, it would be nice to have my Second Life moves on the real life dating scene. Imagine being able to pick from a seriesof finely tuned dance animations, to be able to street dance like a pro in an instant! That would be incredible.

The Body!

I’m not out of shape by any stretch of the imagination. But my avatar sure as hell has a more toned torso than I do. Imagine getting undressed when getting lucky on a first date and being able to unleash a body second only to The Terminator’s (but perhaps with a bit less beef?).

The Choice of Dating Locations

Here in Manchester I take my dates for dinner or a film or out into the countryside for a drive and/or walk. And while that’s all good and well, it’s probably not as impressive as some of the options in Second Life. If some of the girls I have dated in RL talked to some of the girls I have dated in SL, I would have a problem.

RL GF: He took me to see a film on our first date, then we went to this beautiful restaurant and had cocktails at a bar on 25th floor looking over the city.

SL GF: Wow… sounds nice. He took me on a magic carpet ride over the pyramids of Egypt before we went to this ballroom in the clouds and then we finished off sitting with Elves in a fairytale forest.

RL GF: He is soooo dumped.

Yes, the location options would be good.

But let’s balance this out with a little bit of the shit shall we. One thing I sure as hell would NOT want would be the genitals, or lack thereof. Having to wear a HUD and press a million bloody buttons to get a freakin’ erection ain’t a good look. “Umm… I’m not sure how to work my dick,” isn’t a good line, is it?

For those of us familiar with the online dating scene in Second Life, it can be a warm relief sometimes to head out and date in the physical world! A conversation that doesn’t rely on your mic not cutting out, fun that you can actually feel and the ability to date from beyond the confines of the four walls of your house!!

SL dating is great… but despite its incredible array of beautiful dating locations, as those who meet in SL and then meet in RL will vouch, the physical connection is invaluable.

But anyhow…just for fun, ten lines that might work in Second Life, but certainly won’t work on your real life dates (particularly if your date has never played SL)!

1. Come here and hop on my balls, please. Not likely to get you a dance, very likely to get you a slap!
2. Your skirt isn’t fitting right. Shrink your ass? Again, you won’t be seeing underneath that skirt. More than likely seeing the back of her hand.
3. You’re totally grey to me. If she’s feeling age sensitive, you’re dumped.
4. You’re completely bald to me. Again, won’t go down well.
5. BRB – Need to eat. Yes, going ‘afk’ for ten mins to eat is not acceptable on a real life date!
6. Shit, wife is in the room! BRB. Don’t even try this one!!
7. I accidentally deleted your baby. Easy way to a long stretch in jail.
8. My dick isn’t working. Never do this…. especially not on a first date. Not unless you want to be celibate forever.
9. I was going to treat you to some genitals that are compatible with mine. Well done. Now you’re dateless and scheduled for sectioning.
10. There was a noob in my bed when I came in earlier. That will never work as an excuse, my friend. Never!

So for those of us stepping out to the world of face to face dating…. let’s leave the Second Life lines behind!!!

This made me laugh. A lot. I was in a jazz room last night and happened upon this conversation in open chat. I will block out the guy’s surname to save his blushes! (I won’t change his typoes though)!

[15:33] Darren ******: I remember the firts time I saw you
[15:34] Darren ******: i chased you with a hard on
[15:34] Darren ******: such a newbbie

And no, this isn’t something I made up… genuinely a conversation starter by a fella on a date with a female avie! Only in Second Life would you ever come across a conversation like that, surely?

Someone has failed to tell Darren three very important things:-

1. Chasing someone around while wearing freebie genitals is NOT cool. It never will be. This is myth.
2. Being a newbie (or ‘newbbie’) is no excuse for the above act.
3. If you see someone and do get an instant ‘reaction’ and then feel the need to follow them around, you NEVER, EVER admit that.

Then again…. the woman in question was on a date with him. So his dating tactics obviously are not that bad. There you go, lads. If you want a date, you need to kit yourself out with a newbie hard on and chanse your desired date around with it.

What a bizarre mating call.