Sion Chickens are Second Life’s newest nightmare.

Oh sorry… I mean, “trend.” And they annoy the Hell out of me. Like seriously.

First up, they are LAGGY!! And, no, this isn’t the type of lag that people imagine. It isn’t client lag that actually comes as the result of someone trying to run Second Life™ on a prehistoric machine. This is genuine script and physics lag. In fact, when creator Sion Zaius first listed the chickens on XStreet, the listing description for them stated the very fact that they would lag the shit out of a sim (albeit worded more politely). So you can imagine on a shared sim if three, four or even more residents are using these bloody stupid things, that’s probably not going to be such a great performing sim.

But it isn’t only lag that pisses me off about Sion Chickens. It’s the fact that so many bloody blogs I come across at the moment involve someone bitching about someone killing their chickens. “Chicken killers,” is a phrase I am getting frankly bored of. I don’t know how the Sion chickens work in much detail and frankly do not care to. Buy chickens, feed them, let them roam around lagging the shit out of a sim, have them pop out a few pixel eggs, sell the eggs and then if you’re lucky nobody will come along and stab your chicken through the heart with a giant prim knife? Right?

Anyway… all the bitching about chicken killing makes me think that people who own these Sion Chickens in Second Life should actually be quite happy. It makes the whole game more realistic, surely? It’s all about realism isn’t it? That’s what I keep being told. “Oh but they lay eggs… you have to feed them and everything.” Ok, you want realism? Well if you were a real chicken farmer (aside from simply not having enough time on your hands to play the freakin’ Sion chickens) you would also have to be wary of the potential slaughter of your chickens. Foxes prey on chickens, I am assure. So let’s pretend griefers are foxes. AND STOP THE BITCHING.

And seriously… you can be anything you want in Second Life. Now we all know I hate Bloodlines, but I guess I can see the appeal in being a vampire. You get to be like the undead and walk around all… well…. fanged and stuff, I guess. Tiny Empires makes me want to pull out my eyes with teaspoons. But at least you can be some sort of pixel land baron, Duke..King or whatever. And then Sion Chickens…. forget royalty and immortality. Sion brings the real glamour… CHICKEN FARMING!

Wtf? Who wakes up in a morning and thinks, “I can’t wait to get in Second Life and feed my pixel chickens?”

Urgh. Anyway….. chicken nuggets anyone?